The Sanctuary Dictionary
by The Temporarily Gone Girl
Summary: Will should have known it was a bad idea to include Nikola and John on a dictionary project as Helen's christmas present, but it's too late now... Christmas will be very interesting with the guys and their project. T to be safe.
1. Start of a Bad Idea

**My new Sanctuary fanfiction! I had writers block on the end of my other one, so I started the Sanctuary Dictionary.**

Start of a Bad Idea

"As you all know, Magnus' is coming up." Will had called a meeting in his office and unfortunately it was not only Henry who had come. John and Tesla were there as well. "Well, I thought we should all... okay, I thought me and Henry-" here he glared at Tesla and Druitt- "would bunch together and give Magnus a present unique to the Sanctuary."

Tesla drawled, "It's Henry and I."

John was watching at Tesla with an amused look on his face. Show off.

"We're giving her a dictionary." Henry said proudly.

"...a dictionary." Tesla raised his eyebrows.

"Yes Tesla, a dictionary!" Will crossed his arms. "Magnus is hugely interested in punctuation, speaks several languages-"

"Not all of them spoken by humans!" Henry added.

"And we thought we could change some of the definitions to make it more Sanctuary friendly." Will finished.

"I'd like to see you humiliate yourself with trying to create a dictionary," Tesla grinned.

John shook his head. "I'm in." There was no way he was going to let Tesla be part of a project and outdo him. Especially when it was a project involved with Helen.

"Tesla, you're with me, John you're with Henry." Will quickly said. A lot of thought had gone into that decision. As much as it would have been easier for neither he or Henry to have to deal with the snarky vampire, having him with John would have been a very bad decision. Henry and Tesla didn't get along well either, and Will was going to have to try and manage him. He wondered briefly about any definitions the vampire might think up, but then put the thought off. He would have to watch him closely.

"I have to be with you?" Tesla whined.

"Yes Tesla. I'm your editor," Will said quickly.

"Why do people always call me by my last name?" he asked.

*.*

Will had gone out of the room for a moment, and Tesla had seized a bottle of wine. He set it down with a clink and by the time the psychologist returned he had a pile of definitions.

Will looked over them.

_Goody-two-shoes - see Will.  
__Genius - See Tesla  
__Handsome - see Tesla  
__Insane - see Druitt  
_

At another one Will had finally had enough and he glared at Tesla.

Tesla grinned wider than he had before. "What? Oh, that." There was a moment of silence where Tesla grinned and rubbed his hands together.

Will scowled and read the definition out loud. "What Magnus wants and Tesla knows it."

"Er, that was an abbreviation for saxophone," Nikola said quickly.

"Funny. I always thought your handwriting was neat." Will sat down, putting a red mark through the slip of paper.

*.*

Henry and Druitt were also having an interesting time of it. Henry really thought he should have been writing the definitions and Druitt editing, but_ no._

John was trying his best not to listen to Nikola's antics and write the best definitions he could. It really was hard, especially with all the insults he could have delivered to Tesla. Maybe Henry wouldn't mind...

_Tesla - 1: A unit for measuring magnetic flux 2: A snarky, obnoxious, pompous, full of himself, vampire who happens to be spurned by Helen Magnus._

Henry cut out the second meaning with an apologetic look, but Druitt quickly folded it up into a paper air plane and threw it over to Tesla.

Tesla scowled at him. He mouthed, _I'll get you back for that one._

*.*

When Will and Henry came back from preventing Magnus from entering the room, the room was littered with paper air planes.

Will put a head to his forehead. "Oh man... this was a bad idea."


	2. Strange

**R&R wanted!**

Strange

Helen was in her office. She heard shouting from downstairs, and quickly opened the door.

"You-"

"Don't swear now Nicky!" John taunted the vampire.

"Oh right, you pure innocent!" Nikola snarled.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Helen asked incredulously.

The floor littered with paper airplanes, two men over a century old close to fighting, were busy throwing more scraps of paper at each other.

"Uh, well," Nikola was trying to explain.

Helen came furiously down the stairs. "I knew having both of you here would be trouble, but I didn't know it would be this pathetic!"

John had quickly gathered up the definitions before Helen could see what they were. One was stuck in Nikola's hair. Helen plucked it out.

"Ah, ah, ah, don't-" Nikola was talking like he was holding a hot pan as she unfurled it.

Her eyes raised incredulously. "Hm. _Repulsive - See Tesla_. What is going on?"

"We're having a paper airplane fight?" Nikola asked.

She put a hand on her hip. "You are both over one hundred years old, and you're having a paper airplane fight? Really, Nikola?"

"Why am I getting all the blame?" Tesla wailed.

"Because it's usually your fault," John smirked.

"And you're usually the more childish one," Helen added.

"I'm just too hot for you!" Tesla said and turned on his heel.

"...I almost forgot childish," John said, turning to Helen.

"Well, he always reminds you." Will came in.

"Yeah well I'm too cool for you!" Tesla growled.

"And he can never sulk when his reputation is at stake." John folded his arms.

He had turned around.

"Welcome back. You never stay that way for long." Will grinned broadly.

"Oh, you're going to pay for that." Tesla growled and pointed at Will, strutting back to the Definition Room with a hurt air.

*.*

"Why is he in such a bad mood?" Helen asked, quite aware that something odd was going on.

"Well... you see..." Will quickly tried to make up a lie.

"We stole up his toothbrush," Henry offered.

"What?" Helen asked, incredulous.

"He was being his usual jerk self," Will said. "And we thought we would... erm, get him back."

"With his fang-y problem, you know, he has to brush his teeth regularly... the alcohol doesn't help..." Henry said lamely.

"Are you quite sure-"

Nikola popped his head in through the door. "And how would you know how my breath smells?" he looked in suspicion at Henry.

"Well I-" his sudden grin suddenly sunk in and Henry rolled his eyes. "Oh, please." He stomped off towards his lab.

"Please what?" Nikola was enjoying making trouble for the young werewolf.

"Please leave me alone!"

"Hot and cold. Everyone does that around here." Nikola brushed away.

"Well... that was strange." Helen said.

"He's been acting strangely lately," John said.

"I suppose he has," Helen conceded. "Strange."


	3. A New Plan and a Bad Turn of Events

**Thanks to Sonea27.**

New Plan and a Bad Turn of Events

Will threw his hands up in exasperation. Amazement, really. There were way too many paper airplanes. Way too many.

"Okay guys. We need a change of plan."

Henry stopped throwing pens at Nikola's head from across the room. He had tried not to get sucked into their fight, but it really hadn't worked. He blamed Tesla. He had a right to blame Tesla, from his point of view (and everyone else's), but certainly not from the genius' point of view.

Will put a hand to his forehead. "Plan A was we did the definitions we were most related to. I had the psychology oriented words, Tesla had the science oriented words... you know what the plan was. That, evidently, isn't working." He glared pointedly at all three of the men, engaged in the fight.

"Oh, tell us your new plan Dr. Zimmerman!" Nikola cooed in mock admiration.

"We have to pick the definitions at random, and they will ALL be proofed by myself before we make them into a whole dictionary." Will said.

Henry looked down, ashamed that he had gotten involved in the two men's fight. At least he didn't have to get hit with Nikola's paper airplanes. When one landed on your nose, it was disconcerting. Especially if it involved, later, having to explain to the Doc why he had some red marker on his forehead. Trying to pass it off as blood hadn't helped either.

"We'll start tomorrow." Will quickly left before the fight started again.

*.*

This time all four of them were involved in the fight.

None of them were really sure how it had started.

Will thought it had something to do with John tripping Tesla up right after he had made a less than sensitive comment about he and Helen's relationship. Tesla had then started saying that at last he had to be tripped to fall over, whereas John was a big, fat, oaf- they had started fighting, and then Tesla had insulted Will and Henry by saying he was by far the best of Helen's company, and then...

It had gone on and on.

When Will was involved in the fight, there was no one to break it up.

Finally Helen came in, bewildered by the match of shouting.

"Truth or dare!" Tesla was shouting.

"I'll take a dare, vampy!" John snarled.

"Alright then-"

"What the _bloody hell_ are you doing?" Helen exploded.

The room fell silent.

"We were playing... truth or dare?" Henry said hopefully.

"I'm very busy, I've been working all day, I'm very tired, and you're playing a game of truth or dare..." she looked down at the floor. Then she flopped down on a chair and put her face on her elbow. "Without me?"

_This is bad._ Will thought. _A very bad turn of events._


	4. Behind the Scenes

**Thanks to Sparky She Demon!**

**Not really sure where the plot line is going but okay...**

Behind the Scenes

Kate was probably the only one who had any idea whatsoever what was going on.

There was one word which, after a little questioning of a very worried Helen, was now worrying her as well.

Nubbins.

Nubbins had escaped from their enclosure and apparently were already wreaking havoc, but could wreak a lot more. She walked around with her gun held down low, looking for invisible creatures. She was wondering where Helen had gone. The guys had all been acting really funny lately and she had gone to see them. Kate wondered if that was a good idea, considering Nubbins, Helen, and two guys who were constantly fighting over her. That could end up really messy.

"Helen, do I have to?" It was Nikola's whining voice. Kate leaned around the door, keeping herself out of view with her hand on her gun.

"Truth or dare is truth or dare, Nikola." Helen sounded like she was on the verge of laughing.

"But, Helen, a _week!_" He said unhappily.

"Yes Nikola, a week." she said again in a tolerant voice.

"You should have to kiss me for a week," he said gently, trying to forget the cruel things she had said to him before.

Her hands were on her hips. "Nikola, I have other things to do."

"As long as the other things aren't Druitt," he sniffed.

She glared at him. "Shoo."

"Do I really have to? For a week? Helen, a whole _week!"_ he said desperately.

"Go!" she yelled.

*.*

Tesla was acting strange.

Stranger than usual.

Stranger than he had been since John got there.

He was acting nice.

He wasn't drinking Helen's wine.

He wasn't calling them children or idiots.

The end of the world must be coming, Will thought. No, wait, even when it was the end of the world, he was still calling them idiots and drinking Helen's wine. So much for that theory.

*.*

"Bloody hell," Helen swore as the nubbin escaped once again. "We have to get this under control." she said.

"Doc, is it really so bad?" Kate asked anxiously. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

Helen stopped to consider. "I'd rather not answer that," she said after a pause.

"Whatever," Kate sighed.

After a while, they had managed to catch only one nubbin and they were destroying the walls of the rooms.

"Helen," came the familiar whining voice.

"Why has he been acting so nice lately?" Kate asked suspiciously.

When Nikola came into the room, his eyes silently took in the damage. "What's going on?"

"An abnormal escaped," Helen said briefly.

"A lot of small abnormals escaped by the look of it," he said, frowning at her.

She only said, "Yes, well."

"I need your help," he pleaded.

Her hands were on her hips again. "I'm busy!"

"Kate can look for the abnormals, I need your help on a project. It's completely innocent and non-world-domination-oriented. Please?" he looked so pathetic begging, Helen sighed.

"Alright Nikola. But only for a while." She was more eager to work on some project with Nikola, just like the Five back in Oxford, than she would like to admit. It was something she hadn't done for a long time.

He smiled, not his usual flirting grin, but just a small smile and turned on his heel.

"What's the worst that can happen?" Kate asked again, referring to her looking for the Nubbins and Nikola's experiment going wrong, possibly.

Helen took this another way, however, and a grin which made Kate shiver spread on her lips. "A very cocky Nikola and a very angry John." was her answer.

"This is bad," she said. "This is really bad."

Luckily the very _worst_ did not happen - though that isn't saying much.


	5. Paralysed

**Please go to my profile and vote on the poll there for this story, or have your say in the reviews...**

**Should I make this story Telsen, Magnitt (...That will be difficult, you realise), or keep it neutral? And once again a shout out to my reviewers:**

**Sparky She-Demon**

**Hannah Kelfrod**

Paralysed

Tesla's 'innocent little experiment' turned out to be a box which when one pressed a certain button, would paralyse any one within a certain radius of the box.

"Innocent?" Helen asked with a smile on her face.

"Innocent compared to others!" He justified it. "Besides, I got bored with..." he trailed off.

She narrowed her eyes. There was something going on, she knew, but she didn't ask what it was. Instead, she said nothing and focused on putting away the tools in their correct drawers and boxes.

"Which abnormals escaped?" he asked curiously.

"Er..."

A squeak from the corner saved her from answering. It was a nubbin, and she quickly moved to scoop it up. Before she had gotten half way there, however, it had turned invisible and scurried away.

"Drat," she said.

"Helen, is that what I think it is?" His eyes were twinkling.

She had been foolish to try and keep it from him, of course. Now she looked more like a fool than ever. "That depends on what you think it is."

"A wonderful opportunity?" he asked slyly.

"Then, no." she said abruptly as she looked around. Nikola, who was sidling towards her with a tell tale grin on his face, didn't hear what she did. She heard the nubbin scrambling up the table, and accidentally stepping on the box...

She quickly ducked down, but Nikola had worse luck along with the nubbin.

The nubbin fell off the table, suddenly visible, and landed with a squeak. Nikola also crumpled to the floor.

Helen started to laugh at the indignant look he had in his eyes, whereas his face was still in the ridiculous grin. "I hope you made a fail safe, Nikola!"

"This is not funny, Helen, not in the slightest." he said out of the corner of his mouth.

*.*

Henry was laughing outright. Kate was raising her eyebrows at everyone involved. Will was wearing a tight smile to keep his laughter back. John was laughing softly while looking at the floor, a hand to his face.

"Concentrate please," Helen said. She was wearing a wide spread grin.

"Why does every one think this is so funny?" Nikola said angrily.

"It's a pity it didn't stop him from talking," John said lightly.

Nikola tried very hard to contort his features into a scowl, but remained grinning at John. "Bastard," he muttered.

"You know, maybe we should leave him like this." John proposed.

Helen rolled her eyes. "As much as I'm sure that would please everyone involved..." she thought for a moment.

While she was thinking of a good reason to put him back to rights, Nikola growled. "Do you want to die in your sleep once this thing wears off?"

"So it wears off," Helen asserted.

"Oh no, no, Helen, don't you dare-"

The door slammed shut.

*.*

He was muttering. Whining. Complaining. Talking about how great he was. Doing the things he usually did, but in a much darker mood.

"Leave me like this, oh why don't you? Just leave me here, Miss Helen It's So Funny Magnus. Oh yeah. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I won't be mad or anything. Oh, you are going to pay for this after it wears off, Druitt."

"I'm talking to myself. Go figure."

"Well, I'm the smartest person around to talk to, so it makes sense."

"Helen is smart. Helen is hot. Helen is... damn it, Helen left me here." Here came a sniff. "Damn. I hate Druitt."

Half an hour later...

"I wonder what stupid, grammar murdering definitions they have come up with so far."

"They're probably all partying."

"Well, good for them. I know I'm going to have a party when this wears off. One with lots of wine, math, flirting with Helen, and punching Druitt. That's sounding nice."

"A lot of wine. A lot of flirting. A lot of punching. Maybe not so much math today."

"Bastards."

An hour later.

"Well, so far..."

"This is awful. I need SOMETHING to do."

"HELEN!" he shouted.

Two hours later.

"HELEN!"

"What is it Nikola?" she finally gave in to his shouting.

"I need something to do." he complained.

"Well," she said. "You can be bait for the nubbins."

"What?"

She smirked wickedly and put some food for the nubbins in his frozen hands. She sat behind the door with a stunner ready.

"Helen, don't you dare do this-"

"Nikola, be quiet!" she chided.

"I hate being bait." he said.

"I hate having you as bait."

"At least now I have something to do." he reflected.

"Yes, be quiet."

"No, eye you up and down." he grinned.

"Bloody hell Nikola!"

He made his point again with his eyes.

"Alright, alright, I'm unfreezing you!"


	6. Payback, a Very Angry Helen, and Wine

**Thanks to Cabinet of Curiosities. Please vote on the poll, and R & R!**

Payback, a Very Angry Helen, and Wine

"Okay, time for payback." Tesla was once again fully mobile and very angry. Helen had quickly left him to whatever destructive hobbies he wanted to do now.

He started to laugh. "Oh yeah. Oh yeah, you've got it coming to you now, Druitt."

*.*

"BLOODY HELL!" came the expected cry. Nikola sat drumming his fingers together on the stairs.

"TESLA!" came the next yell.

"Yes Johnny?" he said innocently.

Helen, dragged out of her office by the cry, put her hand son her hips. "What did you do?" she accused.

"I... helped him out a little." Tesla said, barely able to keep from breaking out laughing.

"John, what is it?" Helen called out.

No response came from the still closed door of John's room. She sighed at Nikola. "Bloody hell, what did you do?" she asked again.

"He had it coming," he said stiffly.

"What did he do?" she said, exasperated.

"He got the idea to leave me there!" Tesla said.

"You got out of there in the end," Helen tried for peace.

He rolled his eyes as if it were a complete mystery to Helen why he didn't like Druitt. She knew perfectly well his childish reasons. "Good bye, Nikola."

"Aww."

*.*

Nikola was in the definition room with Will. _It was much more quiet,_he thought quietly. "Ah, the silence." he said out loud.

"You do realise you're the one who does all of the talking, right?" Will asked.

"He does just as much talking, and what he talks about is-"

"I don't need another session of John ranting, okay?" Will said in despair.

He sighed, rolled his eyes, and went back to writing.

"Um, guys?" Henry poked his head in. "Where's Druitt?"

"In his room, go and check on him," Tesla encouraged Henry.

A few moments later...

"Dude!" a very surprised Henry.

"Get out!" a very angry John.

However Henry was dragging him downstairs. "We need you writing to get it done by Christmas!" he protested.

"No, no-"

As they came through the door, Tesla's face lit up like he had just achieved world domination... or possibly like he had just seen John bowing to his greatness... or possibly like Helen was constantly chasing after him... he was very happy, is the point.

"You are going to pay for this."

"But this was pay back," Nikola rolled his eyes.

Standing before them, was John. No longer bald, indeed his hair had... overgrown. It had overgrown in such a way that it stuck out at every angle like a very large, white, puffy, broom head.

"It suits you, really John, it does."

Before his smirk could get any wider, he was sprawling on the floor.

"That's it, I've had it with you!" they both yelled at the same time.

Will moved all of the slips of paper out of the room and left them to it.

*.*

A few hours later, there was a very bloody John and a very bloody Nikola... still fighting when Helen finally came in.

"It's late!" she yelled. "I thought you would finally get over it after fighting it out, but as it is three o'clock in the morning and you are still yelling insults at each other and trying to kill each other, it has to stop!"

"...why?" Nikola asked.

"Idiot, she's mad at you." John said from the floor.

"No, she's mad at you-"

"SHUT UP!" Helen screeched. "Go to the infirmary, go to bed, whatever, just shut up!"

After a while, they both complied.

Tesla drank a lot of wine. He was sitting in his room at four in the morning when John came in.

"Bloody hell Nikola," he said simply, taking the seat opposite Nikola, on the other side of the desk.

"...What are you doing in my room?" Nikola asked, narrowing his eyes.

John ignored his question, taking a glass of wine, said, "So, I think we need a new definition for blood bath."

Nikola grinned. "Definitely."

"You pack a good punch."

"You're as quick as ever."

"We should do this more often," John mused.

"It does leave me in a good mood afterwards," Nikola said.

"Indeed."

"Bloody hell," Helen said from the hallway, watching.


	7. Midnight Meetings

**Poll results:**

**The story will end up as neutral, sorry to disapoint. The actual results for the poll were 2 votes for Magnitt (which I am guessing came from Lara Jane Magnus and Cabinet of Curiosities - was I right?), but one reviewer begging for Teslen and a personal preference, plus Sparky She Demon's opinion resulted in neutral.**

**I believe it is more interesting this way. Sorry guys.**

**And this time, thanks to Sparky She Demon, Lara Jane Magnus, and Hanna Kelfrod. **

**Warning: Tesla is very crude in this chapter... It seems Teslen, but I promise it will be neutral in the end.**

Midnight Meetings

It was the next day.

Nikola shuffled down the hallway. He was sneaking his naughty definition into Will's pile of proofed definitions. He smirked at the thought.

Unfortunately, he ran into John on the way there. "John, what are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"I could ask you the same question, and indeed I will." John replied coolly.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Tesla asked curiously.

"I think you're putting your awful definitions into Will's proofed stack," John answered smugly.

"Errr..." Tesla was surprised. "Maybe. What are you doing?"

He surveyed the Serbian vampire. "The same as you," he grinned.

"John, you never cease to surprise me." They both turned to the definition room, foiling Will's plans. Of course, both were full of insults for each other.

"Nikola, I have a proposal for you." John's eyes gleamed as he sat down.

"John, I knew you were desperate, but I didn't know you were that desperate. She might still like you."

He had managed to make John's cheeks flush - although it might have been with anger. Finally, he managed to laugh. "Really, Nikola? You are desperate for something rude to say."

"You always do make me desperate." he said.

There was a silence. "For something rude to say," Tesla added.

"Well, back to my 'proposal'," John smiled.

"You need to work on your phrasing," Tesla admonished.

"So do you." John retorted.

"Desperate to punch you, that is." Nikola rolled his eyes.

John moved on from that conversation. Nikola always managed to make things stranger than they had to be. John regretted using that phrase. The man really must be desperate, to just imply something.

"We never finished that game of truth or dare, did we?"

*.*

"What are you doing?" Helen was in her room, shuffling away paperwork.

Nikola stepped into her room with a wide smirk on his face. Of course, he knew how this dare was going to end. There were only two ways, truly. One was on Helen's bed, which he rather doubted. The other was with him on the floor being shot.

"What is it?" she sighed.

He quickly crossed the distance between them, and before she knew what was happening she was pressed up against him. One arm was around her waist, the other was pushed deep into her hair, rapidly tangling it, and he was pressing his lips to hers.

She pushed him back. The air felt cold after her being pressed up again him. "What the bloody hell are you doing?" she asked.

"Waiting for you to pull out your gun and shoot me." he said matter of factly. "Oh man, did I really just say that..."

"Shut up," she said brusquely. "Why did you just..."

"Walk into your room and kiss you?" he asked calmly.

"Yes." she was quiet.

He studied her face. "I was playing a game."

"With me?" her voice started to break.

"No, a game with Druitt." he said in complete honesty.

Anger shot into her eyes. "This is a game to you?" came out before she had time to stop it.

"It obviously is to you." He kissed her again, this time more gently, his eyes meeting hers.

She pulled back a little this time, although still in his arms. "It's been a game for over a hundred years, why change it now?"

"I can think of one good reason," he smirked.

She grinned. "Really?"

"Really," he said moving closer to her.

"Like what?"

"Hm..." he stopped talking to kiss her repeatedly.

John was getting angry in the corner, watching the proceedings. "Damn him and his flirting," he whispered.

Helen suddenly broke away from Nikola, and smirked a smirk worthy of Nikola in John's direction. "Did we get you?"

"What?" John came out of the shadows.

"I was explaining my little plan to her while I was kissing her." Nikola grinned madly. "You see, the last time we played truth or dare, she told me to be nice to her employees for a week, and I dared her to help me with a plan I had to get back at you. You never back down from a dare, so she agreed. Did we get you?"

"Damn it all," John said storming out of the room.


	8. Ultimate or not?

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. :)**

Ultimate... or not?

Tesla was screaming. Not screeching, yelling, or any other loud noise. "JOHN!"

John was laughing already. "Yes?"

Nikola came into sight, all vamped out, completely furious. "You bastard!"

"You know, I really think what you did was a lot worse," John answered coolly.

Nikola's nails were covered with pink nail polish. That wasn't all. His fangs were covered with glitter, and him being vamped out didn't help.

"Oh Nikola," Helen couldn't help but laugh.

He turned back to a normal human, still looking furious. "How do you get this thing off?"

"You don't," Helen told him. "I help you, now I help him."

"You always were a little minx," he accused.

"Good luck with your manicure," Helen laughed lightly.

*.*

He was still cursing hours later, trying to get the infernal polish off. "Kate," he whined. "You must have some nail polish remover."

"Yeah, but I'm not giving it to you." Kate rolled her eyes.

"John got to shave his hair off!" Nikola complained.

"Do you think, I don't know, maybe the fact that you're a jerk enters into our decision at all?" Henry asked.

"Go Hank!" Kate said in surprise.

"So it's better to be a murderer than a jerk," Tesla reasoned. "Okay, I can do that." He moved towards Henry.

"If you kills me Magnus is gonna do a lot worse than nail polish," Henry said quickly.

"I look forward to it," Tesla grinned.

"What the - ohhh, that's sick." Henry said suddenly.

Tesla rolled his eyes. "Naive," was his only comment before he went back to trying to get the nail polish off.

"What?" Helen walked into the room.

"Tesla is sick," Henry turned away.

"Ill?" Helen asked, suddenly worried.

"Yes, I'm having an allergic reaction to the nail polish," Nikola said hopefully.

"No, as in Tesla-sick." Kate explained.

"Ah, I think I see," Helen said.

"Want to hurt me badly, Helen?" Nikola raised his eyebrows.

She eyed Henry and Kate. "Oh, but we're being watched."

"That's okay," he said, his eyes lighting up. She was playing along with his game.

"Hm, I would prefer some privacy," she smiled wickedly.

"Leave," he growled at Henry and Kate.

After seeing their boss flirting back at Tesla, they didn't need any encouragement. Helen, Nikola, and John had been behaving utterly like teenagers.

*.*

"You look hot," he breathed.

"Any one else would have said beautiful," she said reproachfully.

"Well I figured that one went without saying," he smiled.

"Really? Interesting," she moved closer to him.

His arms were wrapped around her waste before she could even contemplate what was going on. "Helen," he whispered in her ear.

"What?" she groaned, arms wrapping around his back.

"What are you up to this time?" he whispered.

"Ah, so you caught me." she hissed in his ear.

"It's pretty obvious. You don't usually flirt with me." he said with a slight puppy dog glance.

"Nikola, I have the ultimate prank. You just have to play along." she said seductively. "You'll like playing along."

"Once you give me the nail polish remover. The glitter is already off." he said, smiling.

"Done," she whispered, kissing him.

"Ah, Helen, before this prank keeps going... might I ask for who it is for?" he said, suddenly suspicious.

"Damn him," she cursed.

"I knew it," he said. "And Helen, you are really hot when you swear."

She looked at him reproachfully. "You still should have played along."

"Who said I wasn't going to?"


	9. Backfiring

**Sorry if this chapter is confusing at all. Thanks to reviewers!**

Backfiring

But as it turns out, sometimes even Helen Magnus' plans don't work out. Even with Tesla ready to play along.

John came barging into the lab at the last minute, furious over something. Apparently it wasn't that Helen was kissing Nikola, surprisingly.

"Downstairs, now!" John growled, literally dragging Nikola by the colllar of his shirt.

"What is it?" Nikola asked angrily once all three of them were downstairs.

"Like to tell me what _this_ is?" John asked, suddenly quiet.

Nikola's face went a little white as he stared at where John's finger was pointing. "Um, no, not really-" he made for the door, grabbing Helen's arm as he went, but John had other plans.

Helen had quickly understood the situation and was smiling. Nikola had been caught in his own trap. He had planned a prank, a lever which when John pressed it on his seat, would do _something _to him. John shoved Nikola down into the chair, pressing a hidden lever.

"Oh crap," was his own comment.

Helen couldn't hold back her laughter. Glaring at them both was a very singed Nikola. "Good one, if he hadn't noticed it!" she tried to stop laughing.

John took Helen's arm up to the lab. She wasn't really sure why they were going up there, but she didn't protest.

"Now Helen, I've become very used to seeing these levers," he said once they were up there. "And my apologies," he said as he shoved her against her own lever.

Helen had planned a prank for Nikola, planning he would not notice the lever if he was... distracted. She thought briefly that she had really gone too far this time with the pranks. Nikola just seemed to have that effect on... everyone, really.

"Oh bloody hell," was her comment.

"Helen, that's actually quite becoming," the singed Nikola smirked.

Helen was decked from head to foot in pink ribbon bows. "Don't you dare say a word, if John hadn't come in you would be the one in pink bows!"

This quieted him, but didn't get rid of his smirk.

However, this was not the end for any of them, despite the best efforts of Helen's coworkers. Will and Henry came in, dragging John downstairs. "Work to do," was all they said.

Nikola frowned down at them. "Don't bother about me, I'm only slightly singed!" he whined.

However, they had only been standing there for a couple of moments when they heard John's yell. Nikola's face lit up. "Looks like the children have decided to engage in our sport after all!"

Will brought a sopping John back up, who was muttering curses at them.

"This has to STOP!" Will pleaded. "You need to run the Sanctuary, Magnus, you need to stop laughing and smirking, Tesla, you need to be helping, John, and you both need to be helping me downstairs!"

Nikola shared a deep glance with the floor. John looked slightly ashamed.

Helen grinned wickedly. "Last prank it is then." She leaned towards John, wrapped her arms around him, kissed him, and then turned to Nikola, kissing him.

She walked out of the room, leaving them both gaping after her.

"That's my girl," Nikola grinned.

"She never does that." John said, wideyed.

"Kisses you?" he asked, smirking.

"She never acts like that!" John snapped.

"Maybe I dared her to join in." Tesla walked quickly after Helen, leaving John grinding his teeth.

He said, "Those two always did have to have the last word."


	10. Wrap It Up

**Thanks to Sparky She Demon and Hannah Kelfrod! Sorry for an update lag, my computer time has been busy with preparing for a poetry contest I am entering. Wish me luck! Sorry for this mostly nonsense chapter as well though...**

Wrap It Up

It was time for the final preparations of the Dictionary. Will was in the process of printing it at the moment. Tesla was trying very hard - really, he was - to not grin smugly as he knew all of his definitions Will had decided against were at that moment being printed. The only thing which kept him from doing this was that he knew John's had gotten in as well. Everything has a price, he supposed. Besides, John's would mostly be insults directed at him, and not comments directed at Helen.

John came in, looking very unhappy, with a seemingly indifferent Henry. At second glance, Nikola noticed that Henry was excited. And - could it be? - looking a little smug. "Do I have to do this?" John whined.

"Yep, I'm helping will out with the printing, and Tesla is... erm, Tesla is..." Henry looked quizically to see, what indeed he was doing.

"Watching you all running around looking like idiots," he drawled.

"Well then, you can help me." John looked self-satisfied and put a large shopping bag down on the table.

Nikola knew John must have been assigned a bad task to want his help. "No, I think I'll stay here and watch you humiliate yourselves. Which is a most promising prospect today."

"Er, I have to go help him with the printing. You guys can work it out." Henry knew full well that 'working it out', even for the smallest thing, could well result in fists and blood. Nikola wasn't particularly in the mood for that today, Helen's dare to not drink her wine or be rude to her staff for a week being over, he was mulling his latest experiment over with a glass of wine.

"Alright Johnny, what demeaning task did you get?" he sauntered over.

"Wrapping." John muttered.

"Ah, that's not so bad. So you won't be needing my help -" but John caught his arm as he made to leave the room.

"No, no you don't. You are going to work with the bows and ribbon. And the card. And I deal with the tape." John made the comment sound threatening.

"Bows! Card? Why don't I get the tape?" Nikola threw up his hands, and John thought privately that this was the most distressed he had seen Nikola of late.

"Because you're helping me."

"That isn't a reason," he countered.

But John would not touch the bows or ribbon, or the card, so Nikola was forced to comply. He spent about five minutes grinding his teeth and glaring at John before he finally got to work.

*.*

When Helen got into the room, it was a most strange scene that awaited her.

The backstory to it was that Nikola had gotten sick of the ribbons, and had moved onto the card. He had proceeded to write very flirtatious comments in it. John said he would give it to Henry if Nikola didn't do something more proper. Nikola had then gotten up and tried to leave the room with the bottle of wine in his hand, saying, 'proper isn't really my thing'.

John was now chasing a very distressed Nikola around with pieces of tape and bows. Some of them were stuck to him, a few on his hair. These seemed to annoy him the most.

"They suit you, really!"

"They're red! And on my hair!" Nikola wailed.

Helen stayed silent for a moment and mulled the situation over. Finally she decided to put this to a stop with a small clearing of her throat.

"Wrap it up, my friends." Was her only comment, apart from raising her eyebrows at the both of them.

Once she had left, they both sat down on the floor. Nikola pulled a red bow out of his hair, and said in a very non vampiric voice, "Ow."

"Get over it, Nikola." John rolled his eyes.

"I'm covered in red bows and I'm supposed to get over it? How do you like it?" Suddenly John was covered in shreds of ribbon, all sticking to him.

They were silent for a moment. "I think red suits me," John said mildly.

Nikola smirked. "I prefer blood red."

"Ah, that's why you had no fun with these ribbons." They were a more pink-red than true red, John had noticed.

"Johnny, what do you say we redecorate this a little, changing some of the color themes?" Nikola proposed innocently.

"I think we'd better wrap it up before Will gets back." John grinned.

Nikola poured him a glass of wine. "Cheers."

And so it was that they sat, amidst fluttering pieces of ribbon - and some glass shards somehow - on the floor, drinking wine. The Sanctuary was never dull.

"Cheers."

"Cheers."


	11. Whining Over Wine

**Thanks to Hannah Kelfrod. As you can see I am trying to put the ending off as long as I can. Next chapter will probably be the end chapter. **

Whining over Wine

Tesla was complaining to Will. Henry and John were thankfully gone, otherwise they would have had another fist fight. Because, as usual, Tesla was complaining about John. "And then, after it all, he just had to stick ONE more bow on my hair!" he said.

"That's terrible," Will said. _He's probably too absorbed in his wine to realize that I could really care less, and that I have more important thigns to do, _he thought in annoyance.

"That was a terrible effort at sarcasm, you know." Tesla rolled his eyes, pulling yet another bottle of wine forward.

"Have you moved the entire contents of the wine cellar here?" Will asked in exasperation. Not only had Tesla managed to turn his sarcasm around on him, he had maybe 15 bottles of wine covering the desk. Some of them were empty. The rest were quickly becoming empty - or was it that he had been drinking and whining for hours and hours on end.

Nikola shook his head. "Oh no, don't you worry your pretty little head."

Will sighed. "Magnus is going to be angry with you."

He grinned. "She's hot when she's angry."

Will stared inceredulously. "How do you make every single thing about flirting with her?"

Tesla said slowly, "I've been at it over a century, I should know how to do it by now. And you don't expect me to believe that you haven't noticed how hot she is when she's angry."

"Believe it or not, not every single guy in this place is besotted with her." Will pushed his chair back, ready to go.

Nikola shrugged, but then said, "Glad to hear it."

"Now, can I go, or do you have some more all-important complaints to tell me about?"

"Ah, no my friend, you're not going just yet." Nikola pushed him back down.

"Great," Will muttered.

"I think it's time you started drinking and complaining to me," Nikola said.

"...what?" Will said in disbelief.

"I'm bored. I need someone to laugh at. Come on, what's bugging you?" he said.

"So, you want me to complain to you, so you can laugh at me?" Will's eyebrows went up.

He shrugged. "I'm bored, like I said."

"And Helen is busy, Henry is busy, and John would beat you to a pulp so I'm the only one left." Will reasoned.

"He would not!" He said angrily.

"He would, otherwise why don't you find him?" Will said. Maybe he was going to enjoy this after all.

The reason was because Will might see their 'redecoration', but he couldn't very well tell him that. "Complain." Were his only words.

"I don't have anything to complain about!" Will insisted.

"Work loads, pay check, girl trouble, constantly being about to die from a vicious abnormal... there's always something." he said offhandedly.

Will sighed.

*.*

By the time Helen got into Nikola's room, very doubtful that Will would in fact be there, she was greeted by a grinning Tesla and a very drunk Will.

*.*

"She slapped me!" Nikola complained over another glass of wine, to Henry.


	12. Her Sanctuary

**Thanks to Hannah Kelfrod and Sanctuaria.**

**NOTE: The basic plot has been changed... since it's almost July... it's her birthday and not Christmas... apart from that, this is the end chapter!**

Her Sanctuary

She walked into the room. The first the thing she noticed was that everyone was standing in a straight line. The second thing she noticed was three paper parcels. Her eyes widened.

"Happy Birthday Magnus," Will said it first.

She smiled. "I can't believe it. All this time you were acting so strangely and never let me go in that room - you were doing this?"

"Not all of us, I still have no idea what they were doing." Kate explained.

As it turned out, the Big Guy's present was a new syringe.

Nikola almost laughed when he saw her eyes light up at the syringe. But he didn't laugh.

Then came their present. Helen slid away the wrapping, and found herself staring at the printed words 'THE SANCTUARY DICTIONARY'. She grinned, and opened it up to a random page. As it turned out, the definition which leapt out her was this:_ 'Scientist - a rather pretty and smart woman who wears a lab coat and teases her friends'_. She pursed her lips at Nikola - she knew exactly who had written that definition. But she couldn't stop herself from smiling.

Another definition caught her attention. _'Scandalous - What a certain vampire who really needs to learn when to stop is.'_ She rolled her eyes but still kept smiling as she flicked through the pages. One of them was from Henry. It made her smile more.

She could see Will looking over her shoulder. Then she saw him arguing with them. She guessed these probably hadn't been supposed to make it through. "It's alright Will."

Kate's present was a pretty necklace. She put it around her neck, and saw both Nikola and John looking at her. Nikola's eyes were directed a little lower than where the necklace hung.

She looked at him and rolled her eyes. He grinned. John started to frown at Nikola. She just smiled more.

It was her Sanctuary. Her people. Her friends. Her job. Her Nikola. Her John. It really wasn't fair that she laughed so much at them. She smiled at both of them. There should be some elegant way to put it - but there wasn't. She was just happy because of everyone right now.

Happy Birthday, indeed.

**So... I'm not quite so sure about that ending... But I hope you've enjoyed reading and please tell me what you thought!**

**Thanks,**

**~Iceshadow~**


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